I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I go to the bathroom just to get away from my darling little angels (complete sarcasm). The little short people I gave birth too are a handful to say the least, and sometimes Mommy needs to put herself in timeout, or she might end up in somebody’s mental institution. I might need a new plan because I think the little crumb snatchers are on to me!
Without fail as soon as they hear the door to the bathroom shut, here come the questions, then the fights break out right outside the door, and they are not little fights, they are full-fledged battles complete with wrestling, screaming and stuff being thrown, followed by the threats of whooping and timeouts, plus a lifetime of punishment if they don’t leave me alone. (Apparently, they don’t think I am serious, because they still do it)
This does not happen every once in a while, this happens EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Mookie makes it his business to come right into the bathroom to have very important conversations with me, that just cannot wait until I get out (by the way he speaks very little English and a whole lot of gibberish):
Mookie: Mama you go potty?
Me: Get out Jason?
Mookie: Mama what you doing in here?
Me: GET OUT JASON!
Mookie: You brush your teeth?
Me: Boy do you hear me? Get out!
Mookie: Get out?
He then runs laughing hysterically out the bathroom. Now his sister takes a different approach all together. She stands outside the bathroom door, and yells through the door.
Jada: Mom I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: Use the one up front.
Jada: Mom are u done?
Me: What do you think Jada?
Jada: Mom, mommy, mama, mom, mommy, mama! (she got that off of the Family Guy and ran with it)
Me: Stop calling my name!
Jada: Can I have (name the most random thing you can think of) chickpeas from the South Pacific while flying over the coast of Aruba on a parasail (yes her requests are just that random and dumb)
Me: Lawd have mercy leave me alone!
Recently, they have gotten real creative. Jada will write notes and slide them under the door (yeah, I am really gonna get up to read, and respond to your notes), while Jason sticks his hands under the door, wiggles his fingers and yells, mommy can you see me?
Fun times people, fun times!
I get no peace in this house….EVER!