Growing up no matter how hard my mama tried I was not very confident. I stood out, not because I was sure of myself, but because I was tall, awkward and gangly (or so I thought). I played the flute in middle school and high school, and I was actually first chair, but if you asked me to play by myself in front of a bunch of people, (at church, during competitions) I could pretty much guarantee that I would be begging my mama not to make me do it, and when that did not work, I would be the one up there on stage bawling my eyes out while trying to play His Eye Is On the Sparrow on the flute. No matter how well I did, no matter how many times I did it, it never got any easier for me.
As I got older I gained more confidence, I was the co-captain, then captain of my Pom Squad in high school (shout out to Aurora Christian High School), and in college I was actually a campus tour guide for prospective students at Hampton University. (Rock the Blue & White!) But while I became more confident in myself and who I could be, I have never been (and probably never will be) completely comfortable in front of crowds. Speaking engagements? I would be sweating my way through them! Speeches for speech class were always rushed, presentations at work, I could not even look the people in the eye! I just could never get comfortable with all those people looking at me (no matter how cute I happened to be at the moment!) One on one I am personable and charming, standing along in front of an audience, no bueno at all!
Now my baby Gurl! SHE ROCKS! She has always been confident in who she was! She goes for what she wants and keeps going after it until she gets it! No is not an option for that little girl! Around Christmas time she tried out for a solo at her school. She didn’t get it. It broke her little heart. There were tears and irate grandparents (ahem), and as her mama I wanted to protect here and give her music teacher a piece of my mind! (Something along the lines of how dare you not see how great my baby is, and you better go back and get your life and give my baby a solo! And so on and so forth). But as a girl who never really learned how do deal with disappointment the correct way, I put my feelings aside and explained to her that she would not get every part she tried out for and that people weren’t always going to see her the way that I did, but if this was something she really wanted she would have to keep trying!
Now if that had been me, chile please you would have never heard me speak of trying out for a solo again! It would have been dead in the water, along with some tears and an emotional journal entry (yes I was and still am very dramatic)! But thank God for God that my JadaBear is not me! When it was time to try out for her Spring Concert, she wrote her own letter, got up there and auditioned again, and guess what! MY BEAR GOT A PART IN A TRIO!! Trust me when I say I almost did back flips up in the parking lot when she told me! I have never been prouder! She has been practicing EVERY SINGLE DAY since then, and listening to her practice and sing her heart out does my mama heart proud!
This little girl right here is everything I ever wanted to be, and yet she is so much more! Speeches, no problem, singing in the choir, she’s got it, recitals for her dance company? She is right there in her sparkly pink outfit and bun shaking her groove thang!! There is NOTHING, I mean NOTHING this chick can’t do, because I tell her everyday that nothing is out of her reach! That no matter what obstacle comes her way she can handle it, that she is beautiful, smart and talented (all the things my mama told me but I refused to believe) and that oh yeah, SHE ROCKS!!