Attention Short People I Gave Birth To:
I love you with my whole heart, and I am truly grateful that you are a part of my life. Your smiles bring me constant joy. Your love for me is completely amazing. You two are absolute delights 95% of the time. That being said short people, you guys are wearing me out! I had more than one kid so that I would NOT be your constant source of entertainment. The two of you are supposed to entertain each other. I don’t want to play hide and seek, and telephone all day long! You guys are like my own personal instant messengers with your minute to minute updates on the lives of LaLa and Shayla ( baby dolls) and your detailed explanations (in part English and part gibberish) about how your cars fell of the couch and ran into the wall. I have constant music because the two of you NEVER stop singing (from the gospel music to the slow jams it is amazing how many songs you know, and how many you are willing to make up just for me! YEAH!)
You guys are not WWE Wrestlers so please stop jumping off of my furniture and on to each other, only to come yelling at momma when things get out of hand. And why oh why do you have to drag each other around the house?Is this really a good idea? Please stop playing in the bathrooms and putting allllllllll of the toilet paper in the toilet and then yelling I’m done! Why do you have 4,582 toys if you are going to play with toilet paper? Do you know how much toilet paper costs?
I don’t want to fish things out of vents because you are suddenly MacGyver and you have learned to take the vents off the walls. Toys and or random items don’t go in there either. Oh yeah that is not where you put trash either IT GOES IN THE ACTUAL TRASH CAN. I am doing my best not to raise mini hoarders, so can you please stop storing all of your papers from school on and under your bed. I am sure you will bring some more papers home next week, so we really don’t need to keep every single piece of paper you bring into the house!
Last but certainly not least, I am not your maid. You are both old enough now to pick up after yourself. We have FOUR count em FOUR dirty clothes baskets in this house please use them. When you are done playing with all 47 of the exact same Barbie doll that you HAD TO HAVE or you would JUST FALL OUT AND DIE can you please put them and their 1,562 accessories away, so mommy does not step on them and yell out inappropriate words that you repeat at school.
That is all for now.