I Look To You

So this song right here has been my saving grace and my salvation as a go through my own personal storm.   No lie from the moment I received this CD this song has been on constant rotation in my car.  In my moments of weakness, when I feel alone, I let it out and do my best to let God handle me. I am a continual work in progress, and I am so thankful that I can lay my burdens down and his feet, with no judgement.  That I can look to him. Enjoy!

I Look to YouWhitney Houston Featuring R. Kelly from the I Will Always Love You The Best of Whitney Houston CD

As I lay me down, Heaven hear me now
I’m lost without a cause, After giving it my all

Winter storms have come, And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through, Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you, I look to you
After all my strength is gone,  In you I can be strong

I look to you, I look to you
And when melodies are gone, In you I hear a song, I look to you

About to lose my breath, There’s no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more, Searching for that open door

And every road that I’ve taken, Led to my regret
I don’t know if I’m gonna make it, Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you, I look to you
And when all my strength is gone, In you I can be strong

I look to you, I look to you
And when melodies are gone, In you I hear a song, I look to you


The TF Word

This conversation is from dinner last night:

Jason: Momma Jada said a bad word!

Jada: No I didn’t Jason you need to learn to tell the truth!

Jason: Yes you did Jada you said the bad word!

Me: What word did she say Jason?

Jason: The TF word.

Me: Jada why did you say…. Wait…..what? What is the TF word?

Jada: I did not say that word!

Me: Wait! Stop talking Jada! What is the TF word!

Jason: You know the word that Jada said that is the TF word and it is a bad word and she said that to me!

Jada: Jason I did not say that word!

(They are now yelling at each other)

Me: Jason there is no such thing as the TF word and Jada did not say a bad word!

Jason: Mommy yes she did, and I told her to stop and she said that word to me AGAIN!

Me: Okay, both of you stop! Eat your dinner and STOP talking!

Jada: But momma Jason said the D word!

(Now I know a couple of words that start with D and my son has been known to throw out a bad word so I made the mistake of asking….)

Me: Jada what is the D word!

Jada: I don’t want to say it because it is bad, and I don’t want to get in trouble!

Me: If I ask you to tell me something than you are not going to get in trouble….. what is the D word!

Jada: Well….

Jason: I did say that word! But Jada is being a tattletale and that’s wrong!

Me: Jason be quiet….

Jason: I don’t want to get in trouble!

Jada: He said DUH!


Jada: Duh is the D word and he….

Me: Please stop talking right now! Duh is not a bad word, TF is not even a word! Both of you stop talking RIGHT NOW! You both are driving me crazy!

(not even 30 seconds go by)

Jason: Jada being a tattletale is wrong even if I say a bad word!

(I can’t make this stuff up people….it would be too hard!)



Ballet Body & The Supreme Combo Workout

Ballet Workout 1

Today’s workout was brought to us by Jennifer Galardi and SportsKool. Ballet Workout 1 is a strength and stretch workout all in on featuring ballet and core strengthening.

First and foremost any workout that starts with a statement saying that they are not liable for any injury caused during the viewing of this program is a clear and concise warning so you should take heed people!  Listen to what they are saying and do something different.   Or  you can be like me and forge ahead, ignoring the warning, act like you are superwoman and end up regretting your choices, again!   Second, I know that it has been YEARS quite possible DECADES since I did any type of ballet, but this right here is something completely different I have never seen before!

I have never done ballet like this before. I thought ballet was all about slow and controlled movements. Apparently not anymore! There was a lot of fast moves, and piles (also known as squats people, don’t let em fool you!) A bunch of quick movements and stretching all rolled into a 15 minute workout!

Ballet Floor Bar

Taking your workout to the floor to work your muscles from a different position. Also known as new ways to torture your body disguised as exercise.  This 13 minute workout per Jennifer, was taking ballet moves you would normally do on the ballet bar and doing them on the floor.  This included but was not limited to her version of crunches and moves for your hips and legs.

Again these are not moves I did when I was in ballet and if this is what they actually do now, then I got out at a good time (ballet drop out at 9) cause I would have had to hurt somebody.

The Supreme Combo

Robert Jones led me through almost half of the Supreme Combo workout before I called it quits and stomped away!  Yes, I can admit that I got mad (and winded, and dizzy beyond belief) and stomped away from this workout!  This is a 37 minute full body workout.  They asked if I was finally ready for a complete body shape up. ( I said yes, but my body said NO!) A total body sculpting workout while boosting my cardio filled with intense combos and recovery cool downs that would be sure to push my limits! (Word to Big Bird, cause I went beyond my limits and bout passed out!)

I do believe that this workout was designed for people who were trying to make a basketball team.  The part I did was full of jumping jack and squat combos, burpees and bicycle combos and recovery time filled with upper body and lower body combos. (Excuse me but I can’t recover if I am still working out!) That ish was crazy! When Robert (yes I can call you by your first name when you are trying to kill me!) went in for the second round of burpee combo’s I dropped my weight and stomped away! (Sigh)

I knew the whole workout was going down hill when I started paying more attention to the cobwebs I wanted to get rid of, then the man on the tv screen leading the workout!  I am disappointed that I was not able to make it all the way through, but Robert I am coming back and even if I end up flat on my back seeing stars and begging for mercy I am going to make it all that way to the end of the Supreme Combo Workout!


(All these workouts were completed and/or attempted last week!)

6 AM

Mookie: Morning mama, I slept in my own bed.

Me: Good for you baby, go lay down it’s not time to get up yet.

Mookie: Aww man, I not sleepy, it’s 6 o clock in the morning it’s time to get up! (mind you he cannot tell time!)

Me: Get out of my room and go lay down….

Loud stomping…….

Mookie: Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly!

Jada: Get out of my room Jason!

Mookie: Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly! (now he is singing louder and faster!)

Jada: Jason you are being annoying and driving me insane! (where does she learn these words?)

Me: Jason go to your room, and leave her alone!

Mookie: Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly! With a baseball bat! (now he is dancing in the hallway singing at the top of is lungs with his hands in the air!)

Jada: Jason be quiet!

Mookie: Where he at? Where he at? Where he at?


Mookie: There he go! There he go! There he go! (now there is much dancing and booty shaking in and out of me and Jada’s room and up and down the hallway)

Jada: Mommy please make him stop!

Me: Jason!

Mookie: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY ! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!  (yelling at the top of his lungs while dancing his booty off!)


Mookie: But mommy I LOVE THIS SONG!

ME: Jason it is way to early for all of that!

Mookie: Okay….. peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly! (now he is whispering, cause he is considerate and everything!)

Every morning at 6:00 am!

People it is peanut butter jelly time!

I would like to thank Uncle Nate, Uncle Tony and Uncle Jeremy because without them, Mookie would not know all the words to this song!

20 Minute Workouts I Have Tried

and then have tossed to the side……. (y’all like how I made that rhyme?)  I picked workouts that focused on the area of my body that I have the most issues with (midsection how I dislike thee, let me count the ways) and tone up my assets in the process.

Bollywood Booty 2 w/ Hemalayaa

I joined Hemalayaa as she led a booty shaping workout to some infectious Bollywood beats! It was fun and everything but they kept breaking for commercials (really people commercials?) and to sell her DVD, so I kinda lost my stride and had to keep going back to find it over and over again.  (This is not something I will be trying again)

Pilates Hip Burner w/ Michele Rogers

We started with the Pilates 100. (These are crunches people and these suckers hurt!  I  was not ready!)  This was 15 minutes workout for people already familiar with the basic Pilates moves (it should come as no surprise to anyone that I am not familiar with any of this!) and want an added challenge for  your abs and hips (I should not have taken the challenge people…. I should have walked away). This workout has not been taken off the list completely but it is at the bottom of my try again list! (I felt those crunches for a WEEK after this workout!)

Hip Shakers with Veena Bidasha

This was a belly dance workout for beginners.  Otherwise known as Belly Dancing for Dummies (mainly me). It included muscle isolations exercises to tone the hips, buns and thighs.   They should have another level before beginners though, because belly dancing is for the highly skilled people with rhythm. (Not regular rhythm, a different kind that I apparently do not have!) Another workout that I am WILLING to try again, and quite possibly soon.

So people I have been working out…. not consistently and never the same thing twice, but I am trying.

Tomorrow, I try again.

It’s all about not giving up right?

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

My Body Does Not Like Me Right Now!

So yeah, I pretty much stink up the joint when it comes to exercising on a regular consistent basis.  I get all amped up and I say to myself,” Self you got this! Today is the day, you are going for the gold! You are going to go out there and CONQUER the world of exercise! Ain’t No Stopping Us Now! It’s all you baby! YEAH! Let’s get it!” Then me and myself are good for a little while, then something happens, or I get caught up in life and meaningless things that really do not matter and then I miss a day.  Then one day becomes two and two days turns into weeks…. and well you get my drift……sigh!

Yesterday, I got up and took the kids to school and instead of coming right up and getting caught in my feelings I drove to a nearby hospital and walked the bike trail.  It felt good, but it also hurt. 20 minutes of fast walking on concrete is no joke on the calf muscles. (My body was not happy!)  Today, I got up and I dropped the kids off at school and instead of coming home and complaining (to myself ) about how out of shape I am, and whining (again to myself) about how I wish this weight would just go away, I walked to my TV and completed the Cardio Kickboxing workout with Jill Coleman on FitTV.  A workout that was full of cardio (jumping jacks and punches) and Interval Training (squats & high knees) packed into 20 minutes.  (My body sooooooo does not like me right now!)

Apparently long breaks with no real physical activity beyond chasing after my kids is no good for this girl right here.  My knees are screaming out in protest and my muscles in my arms and legs would so like to slap the mess out of me right now.  So I am done making promises with mouth that my body can’t keep (Like running with no plan) and I am taking it day by day. I can no longer give me and my complaining self anymore breaks and I plan on working out every day for a least 20 minutes a day (that is all I can take right now) so my old body does not throw in the towel and completely shut down on me.

Cause honestly, I really need my body to like me again……

Out of Sorts

Lately I have been out of sorts. Down in the dumps. Wallowing in self-pity. Crying over spilled milk (literally).  Fighting mad. overwhelmed and underappreciated.  Angry for no reason.  And running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Which makes me look like a lunatic.

My anthem for the past weeks, no months has been f**k the world, don’t ask me for ish! (but only in my head…..cause I do realize the inappropriateness of saying that to my kids).

Nothing  is going right and I have had no desire to do anything expect lie in bed and eat my way through everything.(chocolate filled Oreos have been my source of comfort) I snap at everything and everyone ( even my little babies…..sometimes they snap back….totally my fault)

All I want to do is sleep, but I can’t. So I lay awake at night with my mind racing in a million different directions. I feel like i have no control over anything in my life.  Everything  has been irritating which in turns make irritable. Which makes me snap, which makes me sad and weepy, which makes me look like a lunatic.

I have not been able to write anything because everything comes out sounding like I’m a lunatic. Which might not be far from the truth since I’m feeling kind of crazed. My poor babies, I have been short with them. I never want to hear the never-ending stories but lately it seems if they even breathe wrong mama goes off! (which they so don’t care about because they keep right on talking)!

I have missed a month of Sundays so my soul has been in need of a refill.  I have not been taking care of me at all. I have been just getting by. No exercise, no communicating effectively.  Which is clearly not working, because I have been behaving like a lunatic.  There is a theme here and it is me feeling out-of-place and sad and me behaving like a lunatic!  Something has got to give, quick fast in a hurry before I slip off of the side of the mountain and I can’t find my way back to my happy place!

Something has got to change!

So I ended my self-imposed ban on going to church (there really was no reason for me not to go except for straight up laziness) and got my heart back in the right place. (shouts out to Main Baptist Church where Christ is the Main thing!) And last Monday after I dropped the babies off at school, despite my mind and my body telling me to head straight to my house where I could find  nearest bag of Lays Potato Chips chased with a Dove Chocolate Bar AND some Hawaiian Punch. I went to the gym and I completed by first day of week three for the Couch to 5k. My body protested every step of the way and I had to stop more than once because my legs were in complete protest and were doing their very best to stop me. I finished and for the first time in a very, very long time I felt better. (It didn’t even bother me that there were people 3x my age lapping me and stopping to ask if I was okay!)

Now I am the first to admit that it takes me two weeks to finish one (especially when I don’t have the proper footwear) but I will not stop.  I have to do better for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my days unhappy with me, and then disappointed that I never did anything about.

I want to be happy….no I  need to be happy. I have kids to raise, a husband to love, and a family that extends far and wide that needs my special kind of love and happiness! (they all know that they would be so lost without me!)

%d bloggers like this: